never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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