i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
