I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
