I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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