have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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