Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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