the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
