we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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