I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
