..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize