I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
did you just send me my own nude
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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