so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
