At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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