i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
