he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
