apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
