the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
