good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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