Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
