I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i think im in europe. pls send help
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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