girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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