I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
