Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
