We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
