playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize