She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize