So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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