Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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