Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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