I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
