i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I party with great urgency now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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