i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
