You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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