Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
