Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
