looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Alive.
So much puke
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
