my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
