do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
