we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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