i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
