he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
