Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
