I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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