So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
