This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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