spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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