i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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