how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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