i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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