I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
