Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
