sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
