i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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