Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize