Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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