you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
