What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
