VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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