in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We named our party play list daddy issues
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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