guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
