Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
is that a dick in a sweater?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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