Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
