Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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